Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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