Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
