Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
