She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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