i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
