I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
