Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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