I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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