If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
