You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
In America we eat man semen.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
