thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
