his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
