I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
