Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Let's get the cat blown out
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
