wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
