Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
