talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
