we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My vagina is officially offended.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
