WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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