dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's blow job season.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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