I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
