Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
