i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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