I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
