Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
