I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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