i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
