Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
