we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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