at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
