What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
