The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
