I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
