my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
