one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
