You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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