i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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