hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
