I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
