I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
