idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Princesses don't give blow jobs
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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