Please, let me fuck your mom
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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