I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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