Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
