My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
