She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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