remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
