just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
