Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
