Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
