Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
