I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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