I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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